I’ll try my best not to stand atop my soapbox during this post. However we do need to set some basic ground rules for riding on buses, trains and trolleys. We all need to learn how to respect each other and make the experience enjoyable. Here are my thoughts on how we all should behave…
1. Watch your personal belongings.
Bringing a bag on board? Make sure you properly store it and keep it out of people’s way. This isn’t your personal car. Not only is excess baggage annoying, it’s dangerous. I heard one story of a gentlemen (being generous there!) was transporting a gas fridge on the muni! That is so dangerous and it should not have happened. So keep everyone happy and safe, including yourself, by safely storing any belongings, and leaving the moving to a moving truck!
2. Mind your gum.
This should go without saying, shouldn’t everything on this list, but watch your gum and keep it under wraps. Don’t chew loudly or smack your gum. Need to get rid of your gum? Wrap it in a wrapper or other garbage and make sure it makes it into the garbage. Ever stepped in gum? We have and we don’t like it. Keep our rides free of your gum please.
3. Watch those umbrellas.
Umbrellas are great but bumping into someone else’s isn’t. As soon as you are about to enter retract your umbrella and give it a good shake to get off any excess water. Then properly store it to keep it out of the way.
4. This is not your soapbox
Ever seen people on the subway trying to advertise the latest religious rapture or end of the world? Yeah, it’s annoying and not the proper place. Everyone thinks your crazy anyway, you’re not convincing anyone. At least get out of the way and do it elsewhere. God bless.
5. I didn’t know I was at a concert.
Music is fine but keep it to yourself. Make sure your headphones aren’t broadcasting your Backstreet Boys obsession to the rest of the riders. Seriously, we can hear it and it’s annoying. I also hope I don’t have to mention that your singing is not appreciated either. Humming too. I even heard someone listening to a tape program about the HCG diet and it was so loud it was spilling out of the headphones. In fact anything coming out of your mouth better be polite conversation to another rider that wants to be in that conversation.
6. Mind the stares and creepy faces.
This is more for the ladies but don’t stare at people. I know it’s hard when that gorgeous blond boards and you’ve had a very boring day, but resist. A quick glance is fine but unless you are going to go talk to her just look away. She is not going to fall in love with you. Sorry.
7. Coughs, sneezes and yawns. Oh my.
If you’re sick, stay home. Need to cough or sneeze? Cover it up. We don’t want your germs flying around us. Didn’t get enough sleep last night. Neither did we. But still cover your yawns. They are as infectious and annoying as anything else.
8. Leave the PDA in the bedroom
It’s nice to ride with a loved one. But please no making out. We are not watching a love story on Lifetime. Sure, hold hands, that’s OK. But no bodily fluids please. It’s gross and not needed.
9. Your food
…stinks! Sure, have a bagel or some coffee but avoid bringing a whole meal with you. We don’t want to smell it and we certainly don’t want to watch you eat it as you bounce around during the ride. And God help you if it spills.
So there’s the basic list. There’s a ton more I’ll be adding but this will get us all started on a wonderful improvement to our mass transit rides. Don’t agree or want to add something to the list? Leave a comment below.