Etiquette Rule #3: Exercise Reasonable Groin Proximity

Is That A Gun in Your Pocket?
Rarely is there an etiquette rule that we are too bashful to address…but no topic can be left on the cutting room floor in our quest for public transportation excellence! When it comes to awkward moments related to personal space, we do our best to ignore the situation by channeling our inner bubble boy. These infringements come in all shapes and sizes but the most offensive, and frequently unintentional, is groin encroachment. While women are occasionally guilty, this one goes out to our friendly male passengers. While you’re busy tuning in to that bown chicka bown bown soundtrack on your iPod, you may not realize that your lump of coal is providing a gentle rub to the shoulder of the passenger seated directly below you. Wiggle room may be a commodity on a crowded train, but mastering the perfect stance can eliminate groin garage in the tightest of situations. Simply turn your body to a sixty degree angle, plant your feet approximately a foot apart, then grab hold of a bar to brace yourself for each jerk of the train. Finally, there’s a payoff to all that core strength training you’ve been doing at the gym. More importantly is the unspoken appreciation from female passengers not obliged to join in your soft core porn. Ladies, while there’s no proven tactic to notify a culprit not following this rule, we suggest you offer your best Mae West grin followed by a quick glance to their nether region to drive home your point. Just remember to be gentle.

Muni Manner: Allow a modest distance when standing above seated passengers. It’s the safe and courteous thing to do.