Etiquette Rule #7: Keep Your Eyes Open

You Snooze, We Lose
Busy lives and demanding schedules have led to a growing epidemic of sleep debt. With work, kids, and happy hours that run later and later into the night, active citizens are often tempted to catch up on beauty sleep whenever and wherever possible. However, while regular sleep is essential for survival, that combat nap on mass transit isn't. Etiquette states that siestas should be avoided on public transportation as comatose commuters block open seats and prevent passengers from entering/exiting efficiently. And, let's face it, they're annoying. Hey sleep slut, innocent riders next to you are mortified when you fall asleep and start leaning on them. Repeat after us: body spam, bam, no thank you ma'am. Remember, no one wants to hear your nostril opera or see your drooling mouth agape as you slumber across the city. Most importantly, our personal preferences aside, your state of sleepage could cause you to miss your stop. So, consider our suggestion to stay wide-eyed as you ride. Just don't lose sleep over it.

Muni Manner: Stay awake on transit to limit unwanted body contact and avoid blocking fellow passengers. It's the safe and courteous thing to do.

Etiquette In Action

I Spy With My Little Eye
All around, I see signs of passengers stepping up to the idea of properly stepping forward. I logged some quality field study time this weekend and was surprised to find pockets of adherence to what would surely make the top ten list of transit rules. (see Etiquette Rule #1 regarding boarding the train). Full platforms with orderly queues of passengers, single file lines to board the front of the bus, and even an ‘excuse me’ when someone found themselves in the way of an exiting passenger. What made my day, though, was a gentleman that paused to let me through before himself - as if performing the gesture of opening my door. It could have been the unusually (for me) cute summer dress I was wearing, but whatever the reason, I am not too set in my feminist ways to accept a random act of transit thoughtfulness. While not feasible as an everyday public transit rule, this particular gesture left me quietly cheering bravo inside. While I still spied obvious infractions, it's nice to see fellow day-trippers boarding the etiquette evolution train. Carry on!

Etiquette Rule #6: Use Nasal Discretion

Getting Picky
Despite its stigma in most modern cultures, nose-picking is surprisingly prevalent in public places, especially on mass transit. Doctors continue to stress the risk of infection and nosebleeds associated with picking a winner, yet unapologetic nose-pickers continue to evoke disgust in fellow riders. We understand the natural, occasional urge to adjust the position of "objects" in the nose, but we assure you that there are subtle and hygienic ways to accomplish this. Nasal etiquette dictates that it is appropriate to use a tissue or handkerchief to relieve an itch or irritation in the nose, but never use that trigger finger. Or do a visual inspection. Or perform flicking tricks. Think no one is looking when you plunge into an exploratory excavation? Think again, booger warriors. We're not fooled by tactics such as the Thumb & Finger Fake Out, Operation "Hand-Over-Nose", or the Cough and Turn. Our recommendation: suspend all goldmining operations on public transportation.

Muni Manner: Avoid using your fingers to unblock nasal obstructions. It's the safe and courteous thing to do.

Etiquette Rule #5: Pick Up After Yourself

Every Litter Bit Counts
Have you ever noticed that some passengers abandon all practice of cleanliness when they ride public transportation? Feeling no ownership of the property, they assume their buck fifty fare offers them permission to leave a buck fifty of waste behind. Apathetic litterbuggers probably don't think twice about how one piece of trash can add up to a collection of rubbish and how that heap breeds more problems than the germs it carries. Candy wrappers, crumpled papers, gum, and rolling bottles aren’t exactly considered someone else’s treasure. Dirty aesthetics aside, out of commission seats and ticker tape obstacle courses are the burden we inherit. If you see someone littering, hold back your judgment and politely offer up the wrapper with a "Here, I think you dropped this". If they don’t accept responsibility, be a good sport and dispose of it yourself at the next stop. Think of your wallet the next time you consider treating the train like a garbage disposal. The only thing that's going to be chewed up and spit out is a higher fare. Put the trash in the can, man!

Muni Manner: Don't rely on others to pick up after you, always dispose of your waste. It’s the safe and courteous thing to do.

Etiquette In Action

A Tale of Two Seats

I am happy to report that chivalry and etiquette are not dead. Upon boarding the BART train this week for my morning commute, I was gallantly offered not one, but TWO seats - at different points during my ride. The first gentlemanly gesture was made as I boarded, which caught me by surprise since I obviously don't fit into any of the preordained categories for special seat treatment (see Etiquette Rule #4 regarding giving up your seat to the elderly, handicapped, or pregnant). Note to self: burn beloved flowy tunic top. As if the first knightly move weren't enough to render this SFMuni Lady speechless, yet another seat was offered to me several stops later. This time, I was happy to oblige. I couldn't pass up the chance to continue my studies in manthropology next to a handsome suit, natch. While etiquette states that seat preference should be given to those who are neither young nor able-bodied, the SFMuni Ladies are pleased with the recent dignified display on transit. Carry on!

Etiquette Rule #4: Offer Your Seat to Others

Give It Up
With the continuing rise of transport ridership, seats on public transit have become a commodity. Long commutes and a sea of laptop cases, gym bags, and yoga mats mean it's no fun to stand on a crowded bus. The days of choosing where to sit have been replaced by nasty tactics to get a coveted seat, as trains and buses are often packed to capacity - a problem that is heightened during bad weather and the holidaze. With elbows flying and one thing in mind, the worst offenders of "seat frenzy" are often the elderly. But, regardless of how they secure that spot, the early-bird-specialists are entitled to it. They aren't the only ones: when riding public transport, it is appropriate to offer your seat to seniors, handicapped people, and pregnant women. If you see someone who could use a rest from the road, be a hero. Do set an example for others by asking Gramps if he'd like your seat. Don't be the Bogart who acts like he doesn't see Preggers staring him down. And, ladies, don't get too comfy - Women's Lib means you gotta shake your rump right outta that chair. Humbling to be pushed out of the way by an octagenarian? Get used to it. That seat is taken.

Muni Manner: If you are young or able-bodied, give up your seat to someone who isn't. It's the safe and courteous thing to do.

Etiquette Rule #3: Exercise Reasonable Groin Proximity

Is That A Gun in Your Pocket?
Rarely is there an etiquette rule that we are too bashful to address…but no topic can be left on the cutting room floor in our quest for public transportation excellence! When it comes to awkward moments related to personal space, we do our best to ignore the situation by channeling our inner bubble boy. These infringements come in all shapes and sizes but the most offensive, and frequently unintentional, is groin encroachment. While women are occasionally guilty, this one goes out to our friendly male passengers. While you’re busy tuning in to that bown chicka bown bown soundtrack on your iPod, you may not realize that your lump of coal is providing a gentle rub to the shoulder of the passenger seated directly below you. Wiggle room may be a commodity on a crowded train, but mastering the perfect stance can eliminate groin garage in the tightest of situations. Simply turn your body to a sixty degree angle, plant your feet approximately a foot apart, then grab hold of a bar to brace yourself for each jerk of the train. Finally, there’s a payoff to all that core strength training you’ve been doing at the gym. More importantly is the unspoken appreciation from female passengers not obliged to join in your soft core porn. Ladies, while there’s no proven tactic to notify a culprit not following this rule, we suggest you offer your best Mae West grin followed by a quick glance to their nether region to drive home your point. Just remember to be gentle.

Muni Manner: Allow a modest distance when standing above seated passengers. It’s the safe and courteous thing to do.